Decoy Goat
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I don't know why I even bothered.
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Biography
Born in the cornfields of Argentina in 1953 as a result of the unclean union of a waitress and a pack mule, Decoy Goat (which is merely an alias, true name is Pasquale Valdéz) was doomed to a difficult life. He fled from tyranny at the hands of Peruvian insurgents at the tender age of seven with the help of a kindly drug runner named Alejandro. Separated from his parents, he ended up in notoriously rough Rio de Janeiro, where he learned the art of street fighting and the trade of cosmetic surgery (specializing in sex change operations). In 1967 he emigrated to Switzerland, but possessing no formal medical degree, had difficulty finding employment. In 1969 he relocated again, this time to New York, hoping to adopt a trustworthy Jewish persona so he could practice medicine again. These dreams were shattered like a knocked donkey when he was mistaken for Nelson Mandela, dragged into a gutter and beaten nearly to death under suspicion of time traveling back to 1969 to begin his work on apartheid early. Allegedly, when interrogated, the only remark made to his assailants was "no u".
Not much is known about Decoy Goat's whereabouts in 1970s, other than alleged sightings in Idaho, caught etching strange symbols into dead cattle, and at a haberdashery in Moscow. In 1982, he won first prize in the Monroe County Cake Walk. His glory years were 1983-87, during which he was a weekend weatherman on CBS and married a Honduran housecleaner named Consuela. In 1988 his career and marriage collapsed, which sent him into a severe psychotic episode. The next ten years were spent sleeping in bus stations and performing illegal surgeries in exchange for drugs. In 1998 he cleaned up his life by accepting Jesus Christ as his Lord and Savior, and landed a book deal. He hopes to someday be a guest on the Oprah Winfrey Show.
Community Involvement
Yeah that's questionable.
Forum Activity
Minimal at best.
Drama
Was once mean... no perhaps that too harsh of a word... stern to somebody in 'The Quiet Place'.
Projects/Achievements
HAHA
Related Media
Audio/Video
Quotes
If the decoy has been ignored, it can only mean he's not very good at his work. Somewhere the real warriors of the goat people have been forced into open combat with their enemies, and it's all Decoy Goat's fault; he was unable to draw attention to himself and throw the gruesome, bloodthirsty Llamas off the trail. Shame on him and shame on all who accolade him for his failure.
-Pangalin
What a faggot! - Senorita Preved
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