Kuribo's Shoe Awards
From GFWiki
An offbeat awards event pioneered in 2004 by Pangalin, featuring categories inspired by the the Nintendo game Super Mario Brothers 3.
Categories
The Starman Award
He who holds the Starman cannot be felled by any foe; all who stand before him are inevitably tumbled into the pits that lie Below The Screen. Yet the Starman's power is very temporary, and the Starman-wielder is himself vulnerable to falling into the same vasty deeps as his enemies.
(StarmanDX is not eligible for this award)
- 2005 winner: Crash Landon
The Frog Suit Award
The purpose of the Frog Suit is twofold; it allows the user to adapt swiftly to a strange environment, but it also makes the user look utterly ridiculous.
- 2005 winner: Infernal Monkey
The Chain Chomp Award
The Chain Chomp is a model of persistence. When he sees something objectionable, he will growl and snap at it until it has fled. However, he is mysteriously pinned to one locale, and cannot easily pursue his quarry. If a Chain Chomp is pestered for an extended period, it is possible that he may free himself; this act nearly always results in the Chomp hurling himself into a pit.
- 2005 winner: Night Phoenix
The Angry Sun Award
The Angry Sun hates. He hates you, and you, and you, and especially YOU. Nothing can stop his hatred, and nothing can tire him. Fleeing the areas he arbitrarily chooses to restrict himself to can earn you a temporary respite — but he will assuredly find you again, and on that day he will eat you alive.
- 2005 winner: LeHah
The Thwomp Award
The Thwomp is like the Chain Chomp's autistic cousin. While his range of motion is even more limited and escape is completely impossible, anyone falling under his shadow is doomed to an utter squishing. Few dare to challenge the Thwomp in his miniscule domain.
- 2005 winner: RacinReaver
The Blooper Award
Blooper is an extremely irritating presence, although he means no harm; his erratic motions simply fail to consider the needs of others. Anyone attempting to swim near Blooper risks injury. As Blooper never learns from his mistakes, everyone else is forced to swim in a more circuitous fashion to avoid him.
- 2005 winner: Simply Majestic
The Hot Foot Award
Hot Foot is mischief personified: his only wish is to make a small nuisance of himself. Whether he succeeds or fails, he will quickly scamper away in order to avoid punishment for his deeds.
- 2005 winner: Tails
The Boo Award
The Boo refuses to initiate direct conflict; she only strikes when your back is turned, or uses other methods of indirect attack. The Boo is most satisfied when you had no reason to expect an assault whatsoever.
- 2005 winner: a lurker
The Dry Bones Award
The Dry Bones is indefatigable; while the weakest possible attack will smash him, he will regroup within moments to renew his tedious trudging.
- 2005 winner: Simply Majestic
The Jugem's Cloud Award
The Jugem's Cloud represents undeserved privilege; whomever holds the Cloud may unfairly avoid certain infamous perils while all others must trudge through at risk of life and limb.
- 2005 winners: bobo, NYRSkate, Sassafrass, a lurker
The Bob-Omb Award
The Bob-Omb hates her life and everyone in it; all she wants is to blow up in a colorful display and injure as many bystanders as possible. Consequence is meaningless to the Bob-Omb.
- 2005 winner: Jessykins
The Lakitu Award
The Lakitu's home is a floating cloud; he cannot imagine that those who live on the ground could be anything but jealous. Easily bored, the Lakitu will sometimes drop sharp things on those who wander below.
- 2005 winner: Crash Landon
The Toad's House Award
Toad's House is a complete crapshoot; the odds are better than even that nothing good will come from it, wasting everyone's time. Even so, the Toad's House is fervently defended by some, since it will occasionally produce something precious.
- 2005 winner: Pom
The Buzzy Beetle Award
The Buzzy Beetle is nearly always located underground rather than on the surface; she prefers to avoid the exposure that sunlight brings. In the event that a surface-dweller should find and attack her, she will retreat into her shell and whirl away. The Buzzy Beetle also has an inordinate fondness of climbing steep slopes.
- 2005 winner: Seris
The Roto-Disc Award
No one can understand the Roto-Disc; it whirls forever in a predictable pattern, and anyone interfering with it is unceremoniously dumped into lava. There is no evidence that the Roto-Disc is intelligent. What does the Roto-Disc want? How does it live? Why is it here? These mysteries are beyond us.
- 2005 winner: Megalith
The 1-Up Mushroom Award
The 1-Up Mushroom is a second chance, granting leniency to those who fought and died against stronger foes as well as those stupid enough to stand still on a collapsing Donut Bridge. This second chance need not be deserved; 1-Up Mushrooms are acquired mostly by luck.
- 2005 winner: Zephyrin
The Goomba Award
The Goomba is everywhere, it is unescapable. Regardless of where you travel, you will assuredly encounter many Goombas; they are fecund creatures and have adapted to all possible climes. This being so, an individual Goomba can be effortlessly slain — for all the good that does.
- 2005 winner: *AkirA*
The Music Box Award
The Music Box will swiftly calm an angry foe; the very presence of the Box renders them happy and content. Many violent struggles have come to a halt once the Music Box arrived.
- 2005 winner: Infernal Monkey
The Jelectro Award
Jelectro is the eeriest denizen of the deeps, mindless and completely indestructible. An encounter with Jelectro is extremely hazardous, but it is unknown whether his intentions are hostile: communication with the creature is completely impossible. It is thought that Jelectro may suffer from some kind of mental disorder. However, Jelectro is completely avoidable and never engages in pursuit.
- 2005 winner: Legion
The Anchor Award
When the Anchor appears, all activity grinds to a halt. No real movement or action is possible in the presence of the Anchor; it exists only to weigh everyone down.
- 2005 winner: Simply Majestic
The Fire Flower Award
The Fire Flower is ecstatic with its own ability to emit flames; it will do so at the merest provocation. Of course, many enemies are immune to these flames, but this does not discourage the Flower; it is too enthused by its own pyrotechnics to notice the reactions of others.
- 2005 winner: LeHah
The Fire Snake Award
The Fire Snake is the inevitable terminus of the Fire Flower's life cycle; the Snake is now completely obsessed with his own flames, taking no time to eat or sleep. Passersby may randomly be pursued by the Fire Snake, but this is not due to any personal grudge; the Snake just wants to burn something — anything.
- 2005 winner: LeHah
The Super Mushroom Award
The Super Mushroom multiplies one's strength and significance, allowing you to crush your enemies and smash bricks with your bare hands. All shall be laid waste before you, and all cowards shall flee your mighty wrath. The meek plumber you were only moments ago is utterly forgotten as you rage through the land — until a Spiny Egg falls on your head.
- 2005 winner: Lord Styphon
The Super Leaf Award
The Super Leaf lends a similar aggrandizing effect: rather than increasing your strength and mass, it allows you to flutter through the clouds. Holders of the Super Leaf may gain the outlook of a Lakitu, but this is only sporadic; much button-tapping is necessary for a mere Leaf to maintain those lofty heights. Inevitably the thumb tires, and the Leaf falls to the ground, cramped and embarassed.
- 2005 winner: Tails
The Cheep-Cheep Award
Cheep-Cheep, like Blooper, has no true malicious intent. However, she is even more careless than he; she hurls herself out of the water with no regard to her own peril. A flying Cheep-Cheep is certainly hazardous, but the odds are good that they'll just propel themselves into the heel of your boot instead.
The Boss Bass Award
Like the Fire Snake, Boss Bass is the end result of a weaker enemy grown to its full strength — in this case, the Cheep-Cheep. While Boss Bass maintains the same patterns as his lesser relatives, his weaknesses are fewer and his attacks are much more perilous; it is impossible for the Bass to be slain accidentally, as Cheep-Cheeps often are. Furthermore, there is a likelihood that harassment of any Cheep-Cheeps will draw the hostile attentions of the Bass.
- 2005 winner: Sassafrass
The Hammer Brothers Award
The Hammer Brothers are a close-knit bunch; while they may have unique attacks of their own, they always work toward a common goal. This goal may be sublime or trivial, but their only advantage is strength in numbers. If possible, the Hammer Brothers would prefer to keep their enemies at range in order to avoid being closely examined.
- 2005 winner: Team Awesome
The Hammer Suit Award
Wearing the Hammer Suit allows one to infiltrate a group of Hammer Brothers, and also grants an equivalent skill at throwing. The illusion is flawless while it lasts, but many apparently loyal Hammer Brothers have been revealed to be double-agents clad in the Hammer Suits.
- 2005 winner: Decker
The Tanooki Suit Award
The Tanooki Suit is the friendliest, most adorable individual you could hope to meet; amiable and kind to a fault. However, every Tanooki has a hidden trigger — when this trigger is activated, the Tanooki turns to stone. Anyone beneath the Tanooki at this fateful instant is pulverized, and the Tanooki will remain stony and unresponsive for a long time.
- 2005 winner: lav-chan
The Kuribo's Shoe Award
The Kuribo's Shoe is the nigh-ultimate in invulnerability; there is nothing it cannot successfully stomp upon. Even better, it doesn't operate under the time restriction of the Starman; anyone wearing a Shoe may stomp with impunity until he is injured. And a Shoe-wearer may indeed be injured if attacked from above, and this will cause the Shoe to be lost instantly. The former wearer will likely be in great peril as he finds himself in a horrible situation that, only moments ago, was blocked out by the Shoe.
- 2005 winner: NYRSkate
The Mario Award
Mario is the central protagonist. Mario is not the architect of the inconvenient situation he is called upon to resolve, nor does he control the rules of the world in which he operates. However, Mario operates within these rules, and inevitably comes out victorious. Mario is the hero, he always wins; perhaps most importantly, we WANT him to win.
- 2005 winner: Miles
